Gosh, I've been gone for so long! As life in nursing school goes, we've been busy. And then there are the things that were important... but not things that could be shared. There has been a pretty severe attitude taken towards those that share things from inside our program with those outside the program. Sort of a 'don't bite the hand that feeds you' thing. And, I get that, I really do; however, sometimes I think it can go a bit overboard.

So I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was going to happen with this blog. Should it disappear, never to be seen again? I don't know. Yes, I hope some people will read about the path that I've taken, I hope that someone learns something or it gives someone the inspiration to take that leap and go back to school or maybe just has a good laugh on a bad day. The ultimate purpose of this blog is selfish. I wanted a journal that I could read back through someday and see just how far I've come. Something to memorialize some of what I've gone through; cause I know in a few years, some of the experiences I've had are going to be stories I want to remember. And then, the longer it went since I last wrote... the bigger deal the absence became. It just doesn't seem right to wander back in with no explanation as though I've been here the whole time. When I wrote next it had to be something of substance... and the pressure was on.

But I am limited. There are many joys and heartaches that have occurred since I was here last that can't be shared for one reason or another. So now it's becoming an incomplete memoir of my journey through nursing school and that's not what I had hoped originally. But maybe it's enough. Maybe I'm not being superficial by keeping deep hurts and fabulous joys private. I guess that's where we go from here. So, all drama aside:

I'm back! And I promise to try to be more reliable.

Third quarter of nursing school is over. Halfway through the program and still loving it. Fourth quarter is when they say they really put the pressure on. I've seen the schedule, I don't think they're kidding. But really, I wake up almost every morning excited to be going to class, or lab, or clinicals! Ok, I don't wake up excited that my alarm is going off hours before the sun will peek over the horizon on clinical mornings, but I do really love going to clinicals and feeling more and more confident every day.

But, we're halfway?!?! I don't feel halfway ready to be responsible for these patients all by myself!

This last round of clinicals allowed us to really start performing nursing skills and that felt great! Sure we practice for hours in lab, but it's not quite the same as experiencing it with a patient. I was relieved to find that as much as I don't like needles and really don't like IV's, I'm actually quite good with them. I enjoy the high that comes from placing an IV successfully and with minimal discomfort for the patient. I have been lucky so far that the nurses I've been paired with have been kind to me and patient teachers. Attitude matters.

So I'll leave you with some parting tips:

• Sometimes it's better to go into a clinical experience with the attitude that you are there to do anything and everything. I've found this makes most of the nurses extra happy to see you, and more likely to reward you by taking you under their wing.
• "I'm an intermediate level nursing student" may get you less opportunities than "I'm a baby nurse, I'd like all the experience you can provide me."
  
• Food can and does warm the heart of busy nurses. Our program has a tradition of providing snacks for the departments that are so generous as to take on us students. When you walk in with a big bag of snack size chocolates and a smile... the nurses often smile too!

Back to enjoying summer break!