I've finally reached the point of just wanting the nursing school experience to be a thing of the past. Still loving the classes, but getting really sick of the politics. Just a few more months....

Clinicals start again next week. I'm not ready for the early morning, but excited to get practicing again!

For now- back to the textbooks, I have many many chapters to read!

I saw this on another blog and thought it might be kinda fun.

layer one
name: Crystal
birth date: Aug 30th
birthplace: AK
current location: WA
eye color: blue
hair color: red
height: 5’2"
righty or lefty: lefty
zodiac sign: Virgo

layer two
your heritage: I'm a heinz 57 mix, but my largest heritage is Norwegian
the shoes you wore today: Dansko clogs
your weakness: Oh so many. I let those that I love take advantage of me.
your fears: Losing everything
your perfect pizza: pepperoni, pineapple, and black olives

layer three
your most overused phrase: seriously?
your first waking thoughts: Please no... just a little more sleep!
your best physical feature: Eyes, they are a very striking shade of blue
your favorite memory: I have lots of good memories, but one of my favorites was watching the sunrise with my hours old firstborn baby and husband.

layer four
pepsi or coke: Depends, usually coke
mcdonald’s or burger king: McDonald's, can't stand Burger King
single or group dates: single before marriage, now couples dates are fun sometimes.
adidas or nike: adidas
lipton ice tea or nestea: Neither would be my first choice, but if they were the only option, lipton
cappuccino or coffee: coffee

layer five
smoke: no
cuss: oh yeah!
sing: when I'm driving
do you think you’ve been in love: yes, I know I am.
want to go to college: Currently a college student
liked high school: yes, I had a good group of friends
want to get married: Already am
believe in yourself: more every day
get motion sickness: never
think you’re attractive: yes.. and no. I think my confidence makes others think I'm attractive, but deep down I don't think I am.
think you’re a health freak: I have certain things I'm picky about, but for the most part I'm not a health freak
get along with your parents: yes
like thunderstorms: YES
play an instrument: yes, several

layer six
in the past month…
drank alcohol: yes
smoked: no
done a drug: no
made out: Well, I am married, what do you think?
gone on a date: no, it's been a crazy summer, plus we are broke college students
gone to the mall: No
eaten an entire box of oreos: no
eaten sushi: no. HATE IT.
been on stage: No, thankfully
been dumped: no
gone skating: no
made homemade cookies:yes
gone skinny dipping: no
dyed your hair: no, not in the last month
stolen anything: no
you sound boring: Ha, people who know me say I have the least boring life of anyone they know.
Remember this is only in the past month

layer seven
ever…
played a game that required removal of clothing: yes.
if so, was it mixed company: yes.
been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
been caught “doing something”: yes
been called a tease: yes
gotten beaten up: not as an adult
shoplifted: not intentionally, I did once find that something hadn't been rung up... I don't think that counts
changed who you were to fit in: yes

layer eight
age you hope to be married: Already done
numbers and names of children: 3, boy, girl, boy.
describe your dream wedding: We did it... married on the beach at sunset.
how do you want to die: in my sleep, unexpectedly
where do you want to go to college: currently in nursing school, YAY!!
what do you want to be when you grow up: NICU nurse
what country would you most like to visit: Europe

layer nine
number of drugs taken illegally: 0
number of people i could trust with my life: Not sure. More than 2, less than 10
number of cds that i own: I have no idea. Since they are all on the computer, the disks themselves are in storage
number of piercings: three, lower ear, one in upper ear, and nose
number of tattoos: one so far, can't wait for more!
number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: A few, I never really paid attention
number of scars on my body: Lots
number of things in my past that i regret: Well, everything has brought me to this point, and I'm right where I need/want to be. That said, I do carry some scars on my heart that I wish I could go back and change.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he picked up a very large, empty mayonnaise jar and began to fill it with golf balls.
With all of the golf balls in the jar, he asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of small pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled in between the golf balls and pebbles.
Again, he asked if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the grains of sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - Family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else -- The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.”
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.

Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

“It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

It's always a good thing to take some time to ponder how priorities stack up in your life and if you are remembering to pay attention to the golf balls and letting the sand fill in the rest instead of the other way around. I would also point out that without sometimes making room for the coffee you may lose a golf ball that could leave a very big hole.

The calendar is already filling up for the remainder of our break from class... and for the rest of the year! I wasn't too surprised at how many things are planned for the rest of this month, but was quite surprised at how many things are already on the books for October and November.

At least I can say with confidence that there's never a dull moment around here.

Gosh, I've been gone for so long! As life in nursing school goes, we've been busy. And then there are the things that were important... but not things that could be shared. There has been a pretty severe attitude taken towards those that share things from inside our program with those outside the program. Sort of a 'don't bite the hand that feeds you' thing. And, I get that, I really do; however, sometimes I think it can go a bit overboard.

So I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was going to happen with this blog. Should it disappear, never to be seen again? I don't know. Yes, I hope some people will read about the path that I've taken, I hope that someone learns something or it gives someone the inspiration to take that leap and go back to school or maybe just has a good laugh on a bad day. The ultimate purpose of this blog is selfish. I wanted a journal that I could read back through someday and see just how far I've come. Something to memorialize some of what I've gone through; cause I know in a few years, some of the experiences I've had are going to be stories I want to remember. And then, the longer it went since I last wrote... the bigger deal the absence became. It just doesn't seem right to wander back in with no explanation as though I've been here the whole time. When I wrote next it had to be something of substance... and the pressure was on.

But I am limited. There are many joys and heartaches that have occurred since I was here last that can't be shared for one reason or another. So now it's becoming an incomplete memoir of my journey through nursing school and that's not what I had hoped originally. But maybe it's enough. Maybe I'm not being superficial by keeping deep hurts and fabulous joys private. I guess that's where we go from here. So, all drama aside:

I'm back! And I promise to try to be more reliable.

Third quarter of nursing school is over. Halfway through the program and still loving it. Fourth quarter is when they say they really put the pressure on. I've seen the schedule, I don't think they're kidding. But really, I wake up almost every morning excited to be going to class, or lab, or clinicals! Ok, I don't wake up excited that my alarm is going off hours before the sun will peek over the horizon on clinical mornings, but I do really love going to clinicals and feeling more and more confident every day.

But, we're halfway?!?! I don't feel halfway ready to be responsible for these patients all by myself!

This last round of clinicals allowed us to really start performing nursing skills and that felt great! Sure we practice for hours in lab, but it's not quite the same as experiencing it with a patient. I was relieved to find that as much as I don't like needles and really don't like IV's, I'm actually quite good with them. I enjoy the high that comes from placing an IV successfully and with minimal discomfort for the patient. I have been lucky so far that the nurses I've been paired with have been kind to me and patient teachers. Attitude matters.

So I'll leave you with some parting tips:

• Sometimes it's better to go into a clinical experience with the attitude that you are there to do anything and everything. I've found this makes most of the nurses extra happy to see you, and more likely to reward you by taking you under their wing.
• "I'm an intermediate level nursing student" may get you less opportunities than "I'm a baby nurse, I'd like all the experience you can provide me."
  
• Food can and does warm the heart of busy nurses. Our program has a tradition of providing snacks for the departments that are so generous as to take on us students. When you walk in with a big bag of snack size chocolates and a smile... the nurses often smile too!

Back to enjoying summer break!

It goes without saying that missing any of your clinical time is a bad idea. My program has no clinical make up time built into the schedule, and our instructors have advised us not to miss clinicals, period. But, one cannot control when they get sick. And, we really should not be continuing the line of thought that we should go to work/school/clinicals no matter how sick we are. It isn't good for the person who is sick... and it isn't sick for those they are exposing to their illness.

So, as luck would have it, last Sunday I woke up sick. I took some tylenol to try to bring my fever down and put myself back to bed for the day. I was hoping to sleep it off and be able to go in to my clinical Monday morning. By late Sunday afternoon it was obvious that was not going to happen. I e-mailed my instructor and let her know I would be heading to the doctor instead.

Yes, I was worried about how I was going to make up my clinical time, or even if I may have been kicked out of the program for missing time. But, I was too sick to go in, and my elderly patients did not need whatever illness I had. I'm a young, fairly healthy adult with a good immune system; most of the residents of LTC facilities are not. What is a uncomfortable, inconvient illness can be deadly for them.

As luck would have it, there were three of us sick and unable to make clinicals last week. We all went to our doctors, and were all diagnosed with the same illness. The incubation period would be accurate for us to have picked this up the week before in the LTC center. Maybe we did, maybe we didn't. We all spent a very uncomfortable week at home and (hopefully) will all be back in class and clinicals this week.

Our program has been kind enough to schedule us a time to make up the hours we have missed.

We are coming to the end of our second quarter! I can't wait for the week long break between classes!!

It's hard to believe how quickly this is all going. It seems like just last week I was starting nursing school; now here I am, almost finished with my second quarter! The pace of lecture and assignments is intense. We are constantly juggling multiple projects and homework assignments and seem to be always getting ready for the next test.

We took another ATI predictor test and according to the results, both my husband and my self have a 99% chance of passing the NCLEX. Wow! I'm in disbelief that I could have even a 10th of the knowledge necessary to perform as a RN.

Last week was our first week of second quarter clinicals. We are in the LTC setting again, I believe this is the last time we will be in LTC as we move to the hospital in summer quarter. This time we are being allowed to perform more nurse like duties. We can change dressings, insert or discontinue foley catheters, take blood glucose readings and give insulin and we get to do one med pass. I was challenged to work as a team with another classmate, and our assignment was 2 very heavy care residents and one fairly easy resident. By the end of this assignment, we were both exhausted and feeling much more nurse-like. And, although I went home both days completely worn out, I really loved every minute of it. This week helped silence the little voice in the back of my head that wondered if I was really headed into the correct career.

Today I head back to the LTC facility to pick out new residents for the rest of my second quarter clinical experience. I'm passing meds on Monday, so I was instructed to pick one resident with a nice long list of meds! I'll be spending the rest of the weekend looking up that long list of meds in my drug guide, and trying to get my project due this week finished so I don't have to work on it after clinicals.

"If you have time to read a book or enjoy an afternoon with family or friends, we aren't doing our jobs!"

True quote from one of our instructors. No joke.

Is it just me, or does that seem unreasonable? Yes it's a lot of material to cover, and we need to study a lot. But, are we just setting ourselves up for a miserable career if we don't teach ourselves to take time for ourselves? We are no good for anyone if we don't take a little bit of time to enjoy something other than our med-surg book.

Speaking of the med-surg book.... it's just no right! Books, even textbooks, should not be this thick and heavy! And we are assigned to read at least 150 pages a week in this book....

Still loving nursing school... the drama that comes with having that many women together for such a long period of time, not so much. Oh well, I have my happy little group that knows and loves me and I'm choosing not to entertain the rest of the nonsense.

Mid-terms are coming up quickly! It's a great excuse to spend lots of time together "studying."